Things That Piss Me Off: I

April 10, 2009

- Republicans

- Democrats

- Religious figures

- Current television

- The Los Angeles Lakers

- Clueless stupidity

- People that think they’re funny online.

- People that use leetspeak.

- People.

- Laptop computers

- Laptop computers with shitty AC Adaptors that never work

- People with their head up their ass.

- Conceited windbags.

- The horrifying combination of both (Bill O’Reilly)

- FOX News

- CNN

- CNBC

- MSNBC

- Glenn Beck

- All news channels

- Stupid conservative college students living in New York

- Lily Allen

- People

I Don’t Get It

April 4, 2009

What is the appeal of this “What the Buck?!” show? What’s so funny? Oh gee, a gay man makes horrible stereotypes and has obnoxious opinions about celebrities. Who fucking cares? Why can’t he go away? Who gives  a shit about what gay man has to say about Miley Cyrus? She’s a bitch, and the media really needs to stop talking about her so damn much. What sucks is that it won’t be long until she’s showing her vagina in public, and then the media is going to collectively shit themselves once again. Argh, I can’t stand this shit. Anyway, back to Youtube.

I don’t understand Youtube, what’s the appeal of their shitty “featured videos”? They all suck, it’s a bunch of obnoxious 15 year old assholes who think they’re funny, with their horrible jokes and shit eating grins. And then they get 500,000+ views because people type in comments going “OMG GOOD NOW PLZ SUB ME” even though nobody gives a shit about their shitty videos in the first place. I kind of can’t wait until those giant company cunts remove every interesting video possible (As in, clips from television shows, music videos, video game clips, and more. You know, the only things you ever go to Youtube to watch in the first place,) so I can watch that horrible website DIE. And while we’re on the subject of company cunts, fuck Viacom and all companies that remove music videos. What’s the point of removing a music video if YOU’RE NOT GOING TO OFFICIALLY UPLOAD IT YOURSELF?! Honestly, I can’t stand it. If you are bitching and moaning so much, PUT IT OUT ON DVD ALREADY SO WE CAN FUCKING WATCH YOUR SHOW. Damn, how come people are so fucking stupid? What the fuck is the point of hiding a television show in a vault anyway? I love when a company like Viacom waves their dick around, because that’s truly the only reason Viacom has a shitfit about videos on Youtube: to wave their dick around and show off how big and mighty they are. Because trust me, Viacom ain’t going to go bankrupt because some guy puts up 30 second clips of “Doug”.

By the way, have I mentioned how much I hate people?

Why Are People So Fucking Annoying?

March 12, 2009

Seriously, why is everyone so damn annoying? Everyday I have to tolerate everyone’s stupid bullshit. If it’s not that, I have to her them drone on about the DUMBEST shit. Shit that I don’t even fucking care about. No, I don’t care about the newest lame ass video game that you want to play. I don’t give a shit about your cheap slut girlfriend who gives great head; she probably also gives out fun STD’s for your cheap ass. I don’t give a rat’s ass about what you did yesterday in a party. I DON’T CARE, LEAVE ME ALONE.

I mean, I normally wouldn’t mind if it was something, you know, INTERESTING, but man, nothing to me proves how shallow someone is than what stories they tell. If most of them involve them getting drunk off their ass, you know they eat shit. If the stories usually don’t, congratulations. Savor the day. Man, I hate people. I have no use for some people.

Am I bitter? Everyone says so, but I don’t think it’s that. I don’t tolerate dumb bullshit. Can’t do it. It’s just too stupid. Who cares?

My Brother is Such a Crybaby Lazy-Ass Pussy

February 21, 2009

My brother pisses me the fuck off, to the point where someone needs to kick his ass. We have to share a room, since our parents thought it would be a great idea to have three kids in a whole with only two possible rooms. Great job, dumbasses! Anyway, this means I have to put up with his dumb, irritating, pussy-ass bullshit. Like when he plays video games. He is without a doubt the biggest cry baby pyussy I have ever known, and his video game rage is actually dangerous enough that he should seriously seek counseling.

He oftentimes gets obsessed with the new shitty ass NBA video game, and of course since he is such a moron he thinks that he will ALWAYS win, and when he doesn’t, he gets violent. He starts whining. “Fuck this game! Fucking stupid ass bullshit! What the fuck! Fucking shit!” And the worst part is he curses in the most pussy-ass squeaky ass way possible. He sounds like such a fucking loser when he does it. He is just begging to get his lazy ass kicked.

Later on, he starts doing other weird shit, like punching the floor, pounding the remote on the floor, punching the remote while cursing. It’s fucking embarassing. Does he do that when he plays with his friends? The worst part is that his video game playing is mostly done at two or three in the morning… when everyone else is trying to go to sleep. Including a six month old baby. I oftentimes tell him to calm the fuck down and stop being such a suck-ass pussy, because people are trying to fucking sleep, but he just starts insulting me, as if I give a  rat’s ass. Listen you little cunt, I just want you to stop making so much fucking noise, it’s not everyone else’s fault that you SUCK ASS AT A VIDEOGAME. I mean, holy shit, if it gets that bad, here’s a hint: TURN THE FUCKING THING OFF.

I mean, shit, does he really expect the game to be easy as shit in the first place? If it bugs you that much, PUT THE GAME ON AN EASIER DIFFICULTY. I love when people say they beat shit on the ultra mega shit hard expert mode, as if they’re some hot shit because they can play the one in a million first person shooter games out there. Nobody cares. Nobody gives a shit if you killed a guy and he landed on another guy whom was holding a grenade, which killed the guy next to him. You can do the exact same fucking thing in EVERY first person shooter game. I mean seriously, why the fuck are FPS games so popular in the first place? They’re not Contra, which rocks my ass, they’re just boring. They’re always taking place during World War II (Just how many fucking games about WWII do we need, anyway?) and they’re always dominating gamers time. Why? What’s so appealing about shooting fifty people virtually, when kicking the shit out of anyone is ALWAYS more sastifying than shooting them? Anyway, back to my lazy whiny brother.

He’s 16 years old, but you wouldn’t know it from his maturity level. He’s always whining about doing things, bitching and moaning about school, always sleeping when he gets home, staying up later than he should, and doesn’t do anything at all. Chores are foreign to the idiot. All he does is stare at a television screen all day. While I am all for that, especially when it involves all day professional sports, what the fuck is the point of blankly watching nothing? It’s fucking annoying trying to watch basketball on the weekends, because he always bitches and moans since we have to share a TV. Argh, fuck off you fucking cunt. Go be a whiny bitch somewhere else.

He’s also the most argumentive idiot possible. He will ALWAYS take the opposing side or play devil’s advocate for no fucking reason. He NEVER knows what he’s talking about, which is why I get such a joy out of arguing with him. I always  tell him “This is hilarious, because it’s completely obvious that you have no clue what you’re talking about.” What a fucking moron. I can’t wait until I graduate and get a job and my own home. Then I’m staying the fuck away from this whole stupid family.

ENOUGH SLURPING OF THE LAKERS

February 8, 2009

Man, nothing pisses me off more than trying to watch a basketball game, and having the announcers slurp the cocks of the Los Angeles Lakers. I hate the fucking Lakers. Bunch of cheating cunts. How the fuck does anyone get away with the highway robbery that was that Pau Gasol trade?

I mean, people bitch and moan about the Celtics in that Garnett trade, but at least the Timberwolves got Al Jefferson in that trade, and he’s becoming a great star. So why the fuck does no one complain about that horrible Gasol trade? Oh that’s right, THERE’S A LAKER BIAS.

Sorry Kobe shitheads, there’s a Laker bias. End of fucking story. Kobe Bryant is a shithead anyway. What a fucking crybaby pussy. He bitches and moans constantly and has whiny hissy fits when his team struggles, and throws his own team mates under the bus. Why would you ever want you kid to look up to Kobe Bryant as a positive role model? He’s cheated on his wife (And paid a shitload of money for a diamond ring to make it up to her, thereby proving that money solves everything. That bitch makes me sick, fuck you you stupid asshole.) ripped on his teammates (Don’t hate Andrew Bynum now, do you, cunt?) and has the biggest pussy face when he gets called for something, which happens once in a blue moon since the referees have such a hardon for all things Lakers.

I’m sure even right now, the Lakers will break the Cavaliers 23 game win streak today. Fuck you whiny cheating assholes. Enough is fucking enough. I’m sure Kobe will piss me off more than today, so I’ll save the logical arguments for another time. But anyway I’ve been digressing, back to announcers slurping Laker cock. Mike Breen, Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy are usually fucking awesome, what is it about the Lakers that makes them go into blowjob mode?

NBA REFEREES SUCK, END OF FUCKING STORY. If you’re so fucking stupid that you’re not even WATCHING THE BALL when it hits the rim, you shouldn’t be allowed to call a game. You suck, tell Phil Jackson to stop mounting you (Speaking of Phil, I love how he only bitches about shitty referees when it’s against his team. Great coach my ass. Coach a team without Kobe Bryant or Michael Jordan and then let me see how you can do, asshole.)

AS I WATCH THE DAMN GAME, MORE SHITTY REFEREE CALLS. What a bunch of fucking shitheads. David Stern is such a dumb cunt sometimes. Feel free to rob the other teams of games so that you can have more money for your fucking league than you ever will need.

Shut up Mark Jackson, you know NOTHING. Phil Jackson is not keeping that lineup in the game because “He trusts them”. He’s so fucking random that it doesn’t fucking matter what he puts in there.

Why the fuck do I watch the NBA? IF THE CROWD KEEPS BOOING YOU, REFEREES, IT MEANS YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG, PAY THE FUCK ATTENTION YOU DIPSHITS. Man I fucking hate people. Especially Sasha Vujacic. Fuck you you little ugly cunt. Nobody likes you.

And fuck fairweather Laker fans. Where were you losers in 2004-2005? Oh yeah, nowhere because YOUR TEAM SUCKED. But now that they’re winning, it’s a great time to cheer for them in such an obnoxious way that it makes me wish the combined douchebaggery of the referees, Kobe and Vujabitch would make the Staples Center implode. Man I hate people.


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